With Due Apologies to Mary Schmich of the Chicago Tribune
Ladies and Gentlemen - If I could offer you one tip for the future, shower gel would be it. The long term benefits of a good shower gel have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of this crap has no basis more reliable than my own worthless experience. I will talk about this now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of someone else's youth. Younger people are always fun to be with. But, beware of those who only seem young, but in truth are more mature than you are. Pull their leg at every opportunity, keep them on their toes, lest they realize just how much more mature they really are.
Don't worry about your future. Going with the flow
is not only the name of a really good blog, its also a nice way of asking people to stop fighting everything. To stop trying to figure out everything Just give in and let life lead for a while. Sometimes, just sometimes, you'll get lucky.
Do one thing everyday that makes you want to kill yourself.
Don't be reckless with other people's stuff. They paid good money for it. Don't pay them back though, if you do manage to lose, break or disfigure something they own.
Shine your shoes.
Don't waste time on jealousy. Just get even, real quick.
Learn how to differentiate compliments from when people are just being polite. "Well, I think you are [insert some agreeable characteristic that you would like to possess]" - that's just polite, they aren't really interested."I guess... coffee might be alright... but just coffee" - that's a compliment. Live with it.
Archive everything. Gmail is good for old love letters and bank statements.
Clean your belly button. Don't use ear buds for it though. And never, ever smell what you pull out of there. Resist the temptation.
When in the middle of a tender conversation, don't stop and ask 'Excooose me, what does one do with rock salt ?'.
If you are 25+ and don't know what you want to do with your life, I suggest panic. That's the only way you will ever get anything done.
Get plenty of calcium. And sex.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll get lucky, maybe you won't. Whatever you do, don't count your chicks before they have hatched. Don't incubate them too much, don't crack or pry them open. Leave them be and eventually, you will be able to count that chick as your own. Too much looking for chicks to count and eggs to hatch, does not a happy man one make.
Dancing is a spectator sport.
Directions are useless in pretty much any city in India. Don't bother. Mapquest is for losers.
Get to know your parents. Soon, you will be just like them.
Live in Pittsburgh once, but leave before it makes you boring. Live in Madras once, but leave before your brain melts right out of your ears. Live in Bangalore. Period.
Be careful who you make stupid jokes with. Realize that some people might not get the humor in your jokes and instead think that you were all serious. Even when the joke had a liberal sprinkling of emoticons. Even when you blatantly say 'I was just kidding'.Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
Especially on a blog of questionable repute.
But trust me on the shower gel.
And some conditioner. And an occasional manicure.