Thursday, September 29, 2005

A Blog's Little Moments

The Rat commands, we all obey. Albeit a bit late.
  1. Delve into your blog archive.
  2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
  3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
  4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
  5. Tag five people to do the same.
Alright. 23rd post was quite a ways back and I had apparently seen this movie again right about then.

The sentence in question would be
Words that can move you, make you feel emotions that life doesn't evoke in you.
The rest of the post is an embarrassing overview of my talentless existence. Please to not read. Though I'm sure you will and make fun of it later. *sigh*.

Its fun to read stuff like you wrote, like 2 years ago. It seems so different... wonder what I'll be saying about all this, two years hence.

And as the strikethrough suggests, its too late to pass the meme on and its quite a pain trying to figure out who has been tagged and who hasn't already. So there...

Monday, September 26, 2005

My cousin, the evil mastermind

I've always known that my cousins are smart. I didn't quite know they were evil geniuses till yesterday.

Some random boy has been calling my cousin and harassing her over the phone - calls about 30 calls a day, wanting to meet her, to go for coffee, to know her name (in that order, she says). I suggested a few remedies - that she agree to meet the boy at some place, arrive there and in a short while I would walk in and scare the living crap out of the boy. She figured this was too violent for her tastes and decided she would rather ignore all his calls, hoping that he would soon go away.

But he didn't. So she came up with a dastardly plan. The next time this boy called, this is what she did:

She: I have something to ask you.
Pinprick: Of course.
She: Do you really like me ?
Of course I do !
She: Really ?
Pinprick: Really.
She: If you truly like me, then please, promise me you will never call me again.
Pinprick: Ummm...
She: See, you said you really like me. How can I trust you if you don't listen to me ?
Pinprick: Ummm... alright, I promise.
She: Good. Good night then.


I tell you, I was stunned. Not as stunned at the fact that the little dick was actually stupid enough to fall for this, but more so by the fact that my sweet little cousin actually thought of this. I can only imagine the plight of this boy, running around the streets naked, screaming, caught in this nice little Catch-22.

If I ever need a mastermind to orchestrate my plans for World Domination, I now know who my right hand woman will be.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

55 words of unfiction

Two girls in a dark theatre. One girl whips out her celly and starts messaging. Its dark, the phone is a bright light. The message is read:

'So how is work going ?' she types.

Her friend nudges her and says, 'Don't say going, say goin'.

The 'g' is deleted. The message is now cool.

"Maybe that's why I did it. I wanted to make sure you knew what you were missing. Does that make me a bad person?"

"No. You don't have to do anything to show me what I've lost. I know what I've lost. And I know, exactly why I'll never have any of that ever again”."

And by unfiction, I mean these are conversations from real life. Which was what this post was going to be. I couldn't find a third and she tagged me. So there.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

What's on your CD ?

The Mint CD Exchange Program, sadly has come to a close. To all successful senders and recipients, my warmest louse ! We have overcome the vagaries of various countries' inter and intra Postal Systems, weather, natural calamities, crazed postal employees, solar flares and our own laziness to achieve this monumental exchange. We have shared that most precious of art forms - we have shared music.

Yay ! to that.

And now, since everyone knows what everyone else's CDs had, I shall get on with this post.

I got CDs from Grrl, Lavi, Mint and Rat, in that order. Lovely people, lovelier music. These CDs have become quite the mainstay on the daily drive to work (thanks to the hike in gas prices, I no longer drive to work. No worry, I transferred all the songs to my iPod, easy listening on the bus). And in more ways than one, these CDs are quite a glimpse into the person behind them.

Grrl's CD, was well, grrl's CD. It was totally, completely Grrl. Lovely, chocolatey music. A lot of the songs were ones that I had in my un-organized collection, so it was really nice to have 'em all in a proper CD with a purty cover. Winner of the 'First CD Award' and the 'Easiest CD To Gift To Other Ladies Award'. You made that job a whole lot simpler, Grrl, thankoooo !

Lavi's. Well, what can I say ! Hip-hop and club Platinum Collection ! Definitely wins the award for the 'Most Played in the Car and Parties' CD. I have such a cool mental image of Lavi and Sidegap grooving to the music on this CD as she yells at idiot drivers all over the road ;)

Mint's. I knew about 2 songs from the mix. Had heard about 4 in total. Award winner for 'Introducing Me To The Most New Songs' CD. Also the winner of '"Wow ! This is such lovely music !" Being Said By A Female Companion Most Number Of Times' CD - by which I mean I got a lot of brownie points with women for playing such quality music. Thanks a ton Minty !

Rat's. Rock. Roll. Totally my kinda music. Wins the 'Last But Not Least Award' ;) But honestly, really nice of her to send another awesome collection, to make up for lost time and all that ! I love them all Ratsyyy ! Such awesome music I tells ya !

As echoed else where, we definitely MUST do this again. And this time, I promise, I shall even make CD cover art. Promise.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

And whats your name ?

  • I've always been confused with the correct usage of emoticons within parentheses. (Is this the way to do it ;)) or ( should it be like this ;) ) ?
  • Considering how truly global our world has become and all that jazz, I find it quite annoying to be communicating with people in multiple timezones and have to say G'Morning/G'Day/G'Nite... we need to come up with something that captures the general sentiment of 'Have a good time of day'. Suggestions ?
  • I burnt my belly button a couple of days ago, cooking. I was in the kitchen, without a shirt on and when I plonked the onions into the pan containing nicely heated up oil, some of it jumped out and attacked my navel. A quickfire remedy was suggested, and I started wearing shirts when in the kitchen.
  • A kitchen haiku
olives and basil
inept slicing of tomatoes
blood in my pasta
  • Traffic lights are the Big Leveller of our day to day existence. The little tempo thingie that I shot by a while ago, pulls up next to me at the light, seemingly to ask - Where you gonna go now ? Life is like that only, no ?
  • I used to see this huge ass billboard en route to work everyday - "As Bangalore traffic gets worse, you need a job close to where you live or a home close to where you work". I couldn't help thinking, why not fix the fucking traffic, moron ? Like, are we so resigned to the fact that these problems aren't going to go away, that we wouldn't mind spending lakhs buying a house close to a job that we might hold for maybe two more years ? C'mon now, really...
  • Once a certain someone sends me their CD, I have a nice report of the music compiled through the Mint CD Exchange Program, planned. Wait for it.
  • Oh, and the new pic is a blade of grass. Serenity and peace with the universe is much needed in my life. So far, no one thinks its working or ever will.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

How many legs does an elephant have ?

In the end, all it took was an elephant.

Landing up at Ernagoolam Town after a 12 hour train journey, we were hustled into a cab and on the way to some of the hot spots of God's Own Country. Exciting as it was, it was also warm and tiring and sweaty. The company wasn't all that great either, but we did see some really pretty colors.

The parties started with dandia. I cannot dandia. I just can't. It's like some inherent incapability to do anything un-swordsman like when given two long sticks to play with. I slash. I jab. I go for the shin. I don't dandia. Most of the party was spent trying to find a nice corner to sneak to and smoke my Gudam Garams. And trying to get a nice long look at this.

All this while, the meetings and greetings and minglings and jinglings with new people and friends and family of the bride had all been quite, oh what shall we say, without any solid basis to bond on. It was just Oh Hello, Oh Hi, Oh Right Ho kinda greets. Afraid of saying the wrong thing, afraind of saying too much, not knowing what was proper and what wasn't. You know, the kinda stuff that happens when a completely random group of people are thrown together in a posh service apartment in Cochin.

The wedding, as might have been gathered, was a prrrOper Mallu affair. Lots of Gelf money, Gelf gold, Gelf cars and Gelf uncles and aunties. They even got married in a place called Oman Hall. Very swanky cars pull up to the entrance. Swankier aunties get out of them, followed by dripping with wealth uncles. And as per traditional requirements, there was the elephant. A nice, big strapping fella, with fully formed ivory white tusks. As the people pull up to the entrance to the hall, they are greeted by the sight of this magnificient creature.

Very soon, we were all huddled somewhere near the entrance waiting for the bride and groom, with some other boys who were also the bride's friends. General chit chat, about the weather and traffic in Bangalore abounded. And thats when one boy noticed that our friend the elephant, was getting a bit excited. Well, when I say bit, I mean very. And by that I mean very, very. In a matter of minutes, he was well on the way to touching the ground. Looked like a fifth leg and all. Well endowed, dont-need-no-spam-email-ads kinda well endowed. And that was all it took. For 5 boys who have never met previously, to become best buddies for the next couple of days. An elephant with a massive hard on. I can only imagine the plight of the more refined members of the gathering, having to greet guests, trying to avert eyes from the 'something not quite right' elephant !

And I do beleive we broke some kinda record with them elephant jokes over the next few days. About how the little kids would go from the wedding, all confused as to how many legs an elepahnt really did have. And about how it made all the men around reconsider Shakeela being the best Mallu Land has to offer. And about how the bride should really be considering this as a good omen. And so on... later in the night, after a point where it was getting to be a bit too much, we had to agree to a bloodoath to stop telling each other elephant jokes. At which point, we started SMSing each other them jokes.

But in the end, much fun was had, and they looked gorgeous.

Oh and the answer is 4.

PS: All these photos are courtesy of this boy, since my Canon has decided to quit on me.