Wednesday, July 20, 2005

The need for night vision goggles

So there I was, minding my own business, waiting for the bus to take me to good ol' Madras. The domino effect was in full swing - the first guy reclines his seat, and everyone behind him follows suite. As I was struggling to get my foot unwedged from the contraption of a seat in front of me, this girl walks in and notices that her seat is next to a guy. She promptly tells the cleaner to get her a seat next to a girl. I didn't know you could do something like that, but I guess in a country where all sorts of shit can happen, you can never be too safe.

The girl, her co-seated-girl, the dislocated guy, me and every one else get settled in for a bumpy night. That's when the Couple walk in. He and She are both hopelessly in love. They can't seem to let go of each other. I actually had to help the guy stow his bag away, coz he kept fumbling around with one hand for the bag, the other wrapped around Her substantial girth. They sit down, the bus starts, people start chewing paan, the usual. They hand out those god awful, itchy sheets. I stretch. I yawn. I sheet. I sleep.

I wake up to the cellphone of the dude next to me. He launches into a quick conversation, apologizes and goes back to sleep. And that's when I heard it. A low moan. A barely audible whisper. A giggle. Clothes rustling. I look around and through the corner of my eye I see His hand, sneaking under Her sheet. Her eyes are closed and before I could turn around, She lets out a moan. She slaps his hands. He takes a cue, his hands become brave. The moans continued for a while and I suspect that they woke up a few people. But surprisingly, no one said anything. They rise to a crescendo of low decibel, primal moans and abruptly come to a panting halt. And I just sat there, wondering, wow ! People actually do this on a bus !??! Surrounded by others, here is this man, climaxing his partner ! I forced my eyes shut, trying not to hold my sheet too close, eyeing stains on my sheet in a new light now.

I saw them again on the way back. And this time, they were sitting ahead of me. And they were at it again ! AGAIN ! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Moans and rustling clothes and the soft sounds of agony. I exaggerate not. I wholly understand that the public nature of the place and all that increases the excitement, and whats more, its none of my business WHERE his fingers are... but isn't this a bit too much though ?

Really now, think of the children !

31 Comments:

At July 20, 2005 3:15 am, Blogger Grafxgurl said...

VIGNESH GANESAN!!! * shocked look*
*speechless*.....

errrrr....ummm.. QUITE the photographic memory you had..lol.... *runs off giggling*

 
At July 20, 2005 3:24 am, Blogger Rat said...

I have been between Bangalore and Madras by bus atleast about 15 times and thankfully I have never had such an experience !!!

 
At July 20, 2005 3:41 am, Blogger Rahul said...

does so much detail and all that abhorrence go so well together??? ;-)
but agreed; gross indeed!

 
At July 20, 2005 4:41 am, Blogger Grafxgurl said...

*still shocked* have lockjaw now.

 
At July 20, 2005 5:24 am, Blogger Mangs said...

ha. you MADE THAT UP.
holy crap.

 
At July 20, 2005 5:54 am, Anonymous Bhuva said...

Tsk tsk!!!

 
At July 20, 2005 6:35 am, Blogger First Rain said...

Haaa haaa haaa! lollllzz... now I can only imagine... :))

 
At July 20, 2005 8:08 am, Blogger kr!sh said...

Siva Siva...

 
At July 20, 2005 8:27 am, Blogger sajith said...

No pictures ? Damn.

:D

 
At July 20, 2005 9:15 am, Blogger Kumari said...

Oh My Gawd! How come all this always happens when you're around??? :p:p

On our return from B'lore after our Class 12 tour, all the 'side-lower' berths were given to newly married 'village' couples from some Mass wedding by a politician and the scenes that followed were not fit for 'innocent' 16/17 yr olds and my teachers had a tough time calming the lot :)

If that was the case 7 yrs ago, i am not surprised by ur bus journey :-D

**Sorry for long comment :)

 
At July 20, 2005 1:48 pm, Blogger Senthil said...

My dear chap, maybe he was only giving her a foot massage. And as Jules Winnfield says, "Foot massages don't mean shit."

 
At July 20, 2005 2:43 pm, Blogger wahgnube said...

prude.

 
At July 20, 2005 6:15 pm, Anonymous Pauk said...

Now why the hell could that not have happened on Shenoy Nagar Bus number 8? Sorry just a little frustration creeping through there. :)

 
At July 20, 2005 10:23 pm, Blogger Anurag said...

I once took a bus ride from Mysore to Kodaikanal and there were at least three newlywed couples (Kodaikanal is a honeymoon destination, apparently) playing, for the lack of a better euphemism, undercover tag. Thankfully the bus had a VCR. Unfortunately, it didn't work.

 
At July 20, 2005 11:31 pm, Blogger Pink said...

Eeew! Seriosuly people, get a sound proof room and keep the door tightly shut.

 
At July 21, 2005 1:04 am, Blogger raxterize said...

...Tis the season, mate ! ( No pun there..) check http://fingeek.blogspot.com/2005/07/open-letter.html

Cheers !

 
At July 21, 2005 3:47 am, Anonymous Mandar said...

probably this post of urs and my post dated july 19th are the "most horrifying posts of the week"!

 
At July 21, 2005 6:08 am, Blogger Angel said...

:-O

 
At July 21, 2005 6:18 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

if ppl can make out at discs why cant they in busses? Sounds more fun actually ;)

 
At July 21, 2005 7:03 am, Blogger jax said...

Sound Horny OK!

I've seen this happen in movie halls,especially when the movie is running for the 73rd week and playing to a half full house.Its called "Picture in Picture" technology!

 
At July 21, 2005 9:36 am, Blogger indilove said...

lol. indians. tsk tsk tsk.

 
At July 21, 2005 12:31 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I and my husband did it when we were in the middle of a "Computer Architecture" lecture :) *Gasp* Now the secret is out!!!

 
At July 21, 2005 9:43 pm, Blogger Grafxgurl said...

walks in to check * RUNS OUT SCREAMING AGAIN*,..yeeeeeeeeeeeeks!!!

 
At July 22, 2005 5:18 am, Anonymous abhinav said...

wow , this seems a nice bus.I need to get on it sometime.seems would be real educational trip.;-)

 
At July 23, 2005 3:10 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you caught all that action "through the corner of your eye" ?? er...how big are your eyes?

 
At July 23, 2005 3:48 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pauk,
I thought that kinda stuff was already going on in Route 8. All that groping in the rear seats.

Vig,
Should take the opportunity to watch this flick "Everything you wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to ask". They even have a segment on "public banging".

Wolverine

 
At July 23, 2005 9:52 pm, Blogger Jay said...

Must... take... more... buses...

 
At July 24, 2005 6:27 am, Blogger Mint Chutney said...

Eat more carrots and it will help improve your night vision... at least that's what i tell the kids.

 
At July 24, 2005 9:35 pm, Blogger Vignesh said...

Grrl: I hope you have recovered. I still haven't !!

Rat: Not to worry, your time shall come !! :)

Rahul: Well, don't you remember something really nasty that happened to you, really well ? :)

Mangs: No. I didn't. Bugger.

Sajith: Hehehe... would be blurry, shaky to boot !! :)

LadyK: Hmm... young southern belles, gettin it on !!

Senty: Hah. Right. Foot. Massage. Sure !!

Wahgnube: This coming from you, is a gem.

Pauk: That is gross. I can even picture the people you had in mind. Groos.

Anurag: Ditto LadyK. Though, slightly grosser.

Lavi: Very tight.

Rax: heh !

Madar: hehehe...

A: What ?! What ?

Anon: Right. They also serve alcohol and have nice music. Besides if I had seen someone fingering someone else (which I have, just chose to not remember that) at a club, I would write about it.

Jax: HAHAHAH !! I just got that !! Sound Horny !!!

Indilove: heh.

Anon2: Oooohhh.. talk about pipelining !! :)))

Abhi: Right. Educational. In the dark, under blankets.

Anon3: Yeah. Big eyes. Wide corners.

Anon4: As I said, fingering. Not banging.

Jay: No. Trust me. You don't !!

Minty: Yeah. Carrots are good. Yummy !!

 
At July 24, 2005 11:26 pm, Blogger Anita said...

Hahahahah! I must say I had a good laugh in the morning when I read this :) It's been known to happen in trains, but in buses! Rather interesting though. And that too on a Bangalore-Madras bus ;0)

 
At July 25, 2005 4:06 am, Anonymous wahgnube said...

And pray, tell me, just what is that supposed to mean?

 

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