Thursday, June 30, 2005


Run from work. Run from domesticated life. Run from buying LPG cylinders. Run from brokers who promise to hook you up with the right people, to buy those cylinders from. Run from electricians who are too short to reach a ceiling fan. Run from plumbers who are afraid of getting wet. Run from people who want to forget. Run from people who I cannot forget. Run from presentations. Run from budget meetings. Run from irate Austrian professors. Run from being chosen over gardeners and clients. Run from people who are experts at hating each other.

Run from life.

Busy Running. Will Blog Be Soon.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Meet. Rinse. Repeat.

A conversation today morning,

She: [...] yeah, that will be fun if we are like together and stuff, but not with random people.
Me: Umm... are we random people ? I mean, to each other ?
She: Well, you are just a friend of a friend (referring to this particular other friend, She-Friend A, lets say).
Me: Yeah, I guess...

In another conversation, this time with She-Friend A herself,

Me: So I guess since you understand where I'm coming from in all this...
She-Friend A: I don't know you that well right... so...

Yeah, welcome to the vicious cycle that is my life. Recycled friendships, illicit intrusions into other peoples' lives. Enroaching on clearly marked boundaries. Pushing against a wall, I know I cannot break or climb or find the gate to.

And so I stand with my head against that wall... Bang ! Bang ! Bang !

Tuesday, June 21, 2005


Like finding that extra pair of socks,
just when you thought
you had to make do with dirty ones again.

Like two people, drenched in the rain,
looking at each other over a plate of noodles,
wondering how long the drive home will take.

Like peeling away her skin tight denims,
in the cold dark of the night,
at the feel her warm skin against your own.

Like perfect strangers,
comfortably entwining their minds around
intangible artifacts,
carefully constructing tales that blur reality.

Like too many rainchecks for an offer made.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Do you have a glow in the dark watch ?

The week was spent trying to rationalize matters of the heart. Matters where Logic needn't apply. There are only so many wounds that can remain open, at any given time. I may be an expert at ripping out new ones, but even I know when to quit prying them open. The trick though, is figuring out how to quit, ensuring you don't rip out everything that is important to you. As I said, Logic needn't apply.

In other news, for those who keep count of such matters, what needed amputation, has been amputated. Intangibles have been converted, into what I hope, are tangibles. Many things have been discussed, from the nature of need in a relationship, to the facilities offered by a glow-in-the-dark watch.

It ends the same way the other begins. Always. With my foibles, stumbling around in the dark, feeling, poking, prodding. It's like making a joke out of life every time. My life. My excesses. My lack of knowing when and where to stop. My desperation.

Moderation, young grasshopper, is zen, said the young one, as she walked away, merrily chasing a butterfly.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Don't listen to me...

With Due Apologies to Mary Schmich of the Chicago Tribune

Ladies and Gentlemen - If I could offer you one tip for the future, shower gel would be it. The long term benefits of a good shower gel have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of this crap has no basis more reliable than my own worthless experience. I will talk about this now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of someone else's youth. Younger people are always fun to be with. But, beware of those who only seem young, but in truth are more mature than you are. Pull their leg at every opportunity, keep them on their toes, lest they realize just how much more mature they really are.

Don't worry about your future. Going with the flow is not only the name of a really good blog, its also a nice way of asking people to stop fighting everything. To stop trying to figure out everything Just give in and let life lead for a while. Sometimes, just sometimes, you'll get lucky.

Do one thing everyday that makes you want to kill yourself.


Don't be reckless with other people's stuff. They paid good money for it. Don't pay them back though, if you do manage to lose, break or disfigure something they own.

Shine your shoes.

Don't waste time on jealousy. Just get even, real quick.

Learn how to differentiate compliments from when people are just being polite. "Well, I think you are [insert some agreeable characteristic that you would like to possess]" - that's just polite, they aren't really interested."I guess... coffee might be alright... but just coffee" - that's a compliment. Live with it.

Archive everything. Gmail is good for old love letters and bank statements.

Clean your belly button. Don't use ear buds for it though. And never, ever smell what you pull out of there. Resist the temptation.

When in the middle of a tender conversation, don't stop and ask 'Excooose me, what does one do with rock salt ?'.

If you are 25+ and don't know what you want to do with your life, I suggest panic. That's the only way you will ever get anything done.

Get plenty of calcium. And sex.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll get lucky, maybe you won't. Whatever you do, don't count your chicks before they have hatched. Don't incubate them too much, don't crack or pry them open. Leave them be and eventually, you will be able to count that chick as your own. Too much looking for chicks to count and eggs to hatch, does not a happy man one make.

Dancing is a spectator sport.

Directions are useless in pretty much any city in India. Don't bother. Mapquest is for losers.

Get to know your parents. Soon, you will be just like them.

Live in Pittsburgh once, but leave before it makes you boring. Live in Madras once, but leave before your brain melts right out of your ears. Live in Bangalore. Period.

Be careful who you make stupid jokes with. Realize that some people might not get the humor in your jokes and instead think that you were all serious. Even when the joke had a liberal sprinkling of emoticons. Even when you blatantly say 'I was just kidding'.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. Especially on a blog of questionable repute.

But trust me on the shower gel.

And some conditioner. And an occasional manicure.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Its always the little things

Its always the little things. Its the Archive button in Gmail. Its the way you can always keep those emails you don't want to see everyday, don't want any visible indication of, but just can't get yourself to delete. Its when you notice the girl you met yesterday has your name stored in her cellphone. And it spells 'Viggie'. Its the couple next to you, sitting in a Coffee Day, kissing. Its the guy, proudly looking around to make sure someone saw. Its moving into a new apartment and realising that the thing that pisses you off the most, is not the cracked tiles or the creaky fan, but rather the fact that you have a whole new set of hot/cold faucets to get used to. Its taking a day off from work, to attend a seminar and reading this the whole time (Thanks, Swaroop. Its delicious !). Its great Italian food, a light drizzle and candles. Its the promise of a fun weekend.

Yeah, the little things.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Tag ! You're it !

I was ignoring this as hard as I could. I didn't want my juvenille tastes to be displayed like this. But when the queen herself demands that you do it, you can only oblige. So here goes.
  1. Total number of books owned ? Right now, I have about 30-40. Back home in Madras, I've got about 200+ books on non-techie topics and about 100 books on techie topics.

  2. The last book bought ? Collected Plays by Mahesh Dattani - I have read most of these as individual works in some fashion or the other, but as a collection they are really awesome in content. It makes it so much easier to see what Dattani was getting at.

  3. The last book you read ? Quicksilver (The Baroque Cycle, Volume One) by Neal Stephenson - A totally mindblowing dramatization of the invention of what we now can casually term, modern science. Stephenson goes a tremendous distance to towards showing how infinitely intricate history really is - millions of stories woven together to make up the collective human experience.

  4. 5+ books that mean a lot to me
  • The Dancing Wu Li Masters by Gary Zukav
  • The Wu Li Master dances with his student. The Wu Li Master does not teach, but the student learns. The Wu Li Master always begins at the center, the heart of the matter.... This book deals not with knowledge, which is always past tense anyway, but with imagination, which is physics come alive, which is Wu Li.... Most people believe that physicists are explaining the world. Some physicists even believe that, but the Wu Li Masters know that they are only dancing with it.
  • The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
  • Even to classify The Fountainhead as a novel seems slightly beside the point. It can be called a novel in roughly the same way in which the architectural creations of its protagonist, Howard Roark, can be called houses, apartment complexes, filling stations, and office buildings [...] Rand's vast, self-commissioned work is a novel and something more than a novel. It's a metaphysical statement, a treatise on psychological theory, an aesthetic manifesto, a commentary on American architecture, an analysis of ethics, a declaration of political principles. It has often been seen as a palace, fortress, treasury, and temple; and, let me add, one doesn't have to be a simple-minded "cultist" to see it in that way.
  • There's Treasure Everywhere--A Calvin and Hobbes Collection by Bill Watterson - What more can be said about the little guy and his stuffed tiger that hasn't already been said ? I had this strip up on my website, during my life as a graduate student. It captured just about everything there was to say about my life at that point.

  • The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, The Silmarillion by J R R Tolkein

  • The Art of Computer Programming by Donald E Knuth - I remember when I was visiting my friend in Stanford, that we got a fleeting glimpse of the man himself. I swore to myself, right then and there, that I would, eventually, finish reading those books. I'm still working on it.

  • The Foundation Series by Isaac Asimov - In my opinion, the greatest science fiction epic ever written. The vastness of time and space, the pragmatism of science and the endurance of one man's legacy - Salvor Hardin, in Foundation -
    • "Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent."
    • "It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety."
    • "Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right."

  • Any Uncle Fred/Jeeves Omnibus by P G Wodehouse - For their unmatched ability to make me laugh. Anytime. Anywhere.
Passing this along to Grrl, Angel, Swaroop, Jax, Rat, Swathi and har|sh. If there is someone who hasn't done this yet and is reading this post, please get it over with. Soon.

PS: I cannot begin to tell you how important Google was to this post. What would we do without it ?!?!

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Why aren't they extinct already ?

  • People who cut in line. Its absolutely ridiculous how often people do that. Yesterday I was in line buying my dinner dosa, this woman comes right up and sticks her oiled, mallippoo clad head in front of me and starts ordering her food. I was boring a hole right through her skull, when the guy at the counter said 'Madam, queue please'. She gave me a look and moved away. Lady, just 'coz you have a vagina doesn't mean you have the right to butt in like that !
  • People who drink water standing at the water fountain, not bothering to move and let the next person get a glass. If you have acquired your drink, please step aside so others might do the same. Otherwise, I will stamp your foot. Again. And again.
  • People who don't hold open doors for the people walking right behind them. And when I say walking behind them, I mean like a foot behind. How much extra effort does it take to open the door a bit wider than what is barely enough for your large ass ?
  • People with fake accents. Who in turn, make fun of my limited American accent. And make fun of the way I pronounce some hindi words. Dude, you can't even pronounce my entire name right ! Shut up and go away !

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

The Lord of The Shots and Other Stories

Recently I had gone out with a bunch of friends. Following a nice play, we wanted to hit up the Octopus' Garden, but there was a gig there that night. And there were well dressed people. And we had been drenched in the downpour. We decided to head to less conspicuous locales and ended up at Tavern.

[Sidestory One] The said bunch of friends are like, THE set of friends. You know how you go through college, with The Boys ? Yeah, this was them. This was just one of them though, but the basic premise holds good. This dude once left me a voice mail on my celly, that I treasured for a long time. It basically went like this: Him talking to his friend. Drunk. A police siren. One of them yelling, Oh Shit. Sounds of two drunk men, jumping in to a bush. Sounds of two drunk men trying to get out of a bush. Him finally saying 'Hello' and hanging up, as they discussed plans for where to go next.

Anyways, so there we were. Having a great time. The beer was nice. The music was good. After about 3 hours of eating, talking, drinking, eating and talking, we ordered shots for the road. Jose Cuervo. A nice end to a nice night, good company and great music.

[Sidestory two] The Boys and myself, once found ourself in this very fine Irish pub in Chicago. 11 buttery nipples, 14 pints of Guinness and other assorted delights later, I found myself in a very gracious state towards my provider for the night, a wonderful waitress by the name of Katie. I remember going up to her, asking for 'more of them nipples'. Giggles. More flirting. 'Thank you, you guys were the best' note on the bill. I went to the same pub when I was back in Chicago last year, about 6 months later. She was still there. And she got me a nipple, on the house. And she also re-autographed the bill, touched as she was that I held onto it for so long.

So there we were in the cab, when I notice something shiny in his hands. "What the heck is that ? Since when did you start with the bling-bling?" I says. "Its a shot glass", says the red handed thief. "Don't tell me you stole a shot glass from the place !". Yup, he did ! The logic being that he paid over and above the price of the liquor anyway for the shot, so he might as well take the glass.

Moral of the story: Don't go out drinking with kleptos. And if you do, blog about them. They make for good near-death-boring posts.