Saturday, April 02, 2005

Spreading the sweetness and light

I feel the need to apologize to the curious masses [well, maybe not masses, rather a few... well, alright, ONE !] who are wondering if I am back in Bangalore or still in the west. I realise that from my blog one would have no clue as to my whereabouts. This post shall make that all very clear in, what I hope, shall be an amusingly cute anecdotal sorta fashion.

Flight 9W 511, from Kolkatta to Bangalore, via Hyderabad. Thursday, 31st March, 2005. The cutest in-flight personnel I have ever come across. Ever.

Me: *standing near the loo, waiting for Large Man to exit, wondering if Cute In-Flight Person was doing serious damage to her hair with that tight-in-a-bun hairstyle*
Cuter-IFP: *walking down the aisle, lugging a kid, aged around 7 or 8* Now, you sit right here. Buckle up and call us if you need anything. *to the other IFPs* We have an un-escorted minor in 31 alpha.
Me: *to the Cutest-IFP* Hmmm... could I be an un-escorted major?
Cutest-IFP: *extremely cute, IFP-ish giggle* Why sir? You feel you need to be taken care of too?
Me: Yeah, am starting to feel pretty lonely on these flights.
*Large Man exits, I go into the loo. Will spare you the details of the next few minutes.*
Cutest-IFP: *me walking to my seat* Here you go, sir ! Enjoy your flight ! *handing me a coloring book and the JetKids pack*
Me: *not to be outdone at my own flirting game* Wooooww !! Just what I wanted... I'm all giggly with joy ! *run back to my seat and start coloring*
Cutest-IFP: *walking by checking transit passenger luggage, sees me coloring, with wax crayons* You must be kidding ! *visibly amused, with a smile that actually touches her eyes*
Me: Nope ! *best smile and all* I gotta beat 31 alpha at this, now don't I !

We take off and I am still coloring. And shortly thereafter, I think everyone but the cockpit crew came by to talk to me about the wax crayons and my love for coloring notebooks. I still cannot comprehend the number of jokes I made about coloring within the lines and following the sequence of numbers when I connect the dots (thanks Calvin !). Even the DropDeadGorgeous-IFP from Business Class came by and smiled, delivering a complimentary remark !

By the end of the flight, I had completed one section of the coloring book. Cutest-IFP was totally impressed with my perseverance, hovering about talking to me about all sorts of things.

Cutest-IFP: Its wonderful to have people like yourself on these flights, Vignesh *yes, we were on a first name basis by then* Its tough to keep smiling all the time, when you really don't mean it *wink* Helps a lot when we have people like you around !
Me: Thank you ! Though I have to admit, its really easy to be happy, especially around someone as cheerful and as charming as yourself !

It went on like this for a while. We discussed her flight schedules, and how her social life takes quite a beating because of that. We exchanged phone numbers and she said she would call if she was ever in Bangalore for more than an hour !

I would be awesomely surprised if she ever does. But that isn't the point. On a personal level for me this is me getting back to who I used to be. Before all the bad things started to happen. This was me in school - generally happy with life and not afraid to show it. This was me in college -not afraid of making a fool of myself, going out on a limb to do stupid stuff that I thought was fun. This is me healing.

I really should get back to reading more of Wodehouse. This spreading the sweetness and light business is good fun !


At April 03, 2005 3:23 AM, Blogger eM said...

Ooh.. hot airhostess lovin'! Now THIS is a story I like. Have you read Coffee, Tea Or Me?

At April 03, 2005 9:34 AM, Blogger Vignesh said...

No, I havent read it. But thanks for the recommendation, albeit a bit late ;)

At April 03, 2005 9:38 AM, Anonymous wahgnube said...

I recall a similar anecdote I was in involving the cutest (and funniest, and most dynamic) customs official, ever. Though, being a gentleman, I won't dwell on such (, especially if there isn't too much to say).

Anyway, have you noticed the IFPs (to borrow lingo) on these local flights are so much ... younger, happier, nicer, aim to please morer... and cuter than they are elsewhere?

All would be well, but alas, some of them have the weirdest (incorrect) pronunciations of the simplest of words.

Bah, if only I weren't so freaking judgmental.

At April 03, 2005 9:57 AM, Blogger littlecow said...

haha... you are da so(u)n in this dark world, kiddo... :-)

At April 03, 2005 10:23 AM, Blogger Vignesh said...

Lalit: I deleted your comment, coz I don't know if she would want her name put up ... but I think it is the same person. I don't know her personally, just love her writing. I love my blog becomming the nexus of old acquaintances meeting up again !

W: Nice of you to drop by sir. Hope all is well with Ax=B. Thanks for the gentlemanly remark and all that ! yes, this one, was from the land of the Punj and I'm sure would have suffered your judgementalism ! Jet Airways is apparently crawling with em !

LC: Welcome ! I have to admit I' still trying to parse your comment though !!

At April 03, 2005 10:28 AM, Blogger Vignesh said...

Right, LC, forget it. I got it. Me slow. Too much rehearsals, followed by good food. And huge sinful death by chocolate...

At April 03, 2005 10:03 PM, Blogger Kumari said...

Ada paavi..ooru vittu ooru ponalum flirt panrethu is my birth right slogan thaana :p:p

Am so glad you are back in form!!!
need any tips, come to me :-D

At April 03, 2005 10:06 PM, Blogger Kumari said...

Btw, am The ONE :p

At April 03, 2005 11:01 PM, Blogger Primalsoup said...

Would be coinkidally put up posts [or whatever it is that your generation calls it! :)]

An in-flight personnel, whose smile reached her eyes, beyond the call of duty??? :O Now, I have seen it all! :)

At April 03, 2005 11:03 PM, Blogger Primalsoup said...

Okay, the comment has to start with, 'This' :)

At April 04, 2005 5:32 AM, Blogger Angel said...

ooooh, talk about flying colours!! :D :D

At April 06, 2005 12:10 AM, Blogger Rajesh J Advani said...

If you like Wodehouse, and are a Science-Fiction fan (the Trekkie connection) your might wanna try out Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. Start with book one - Color of Magic. There's 30 books printed in the series till date. Every one of them is a must read.


At April 06, 2005 4:35 AM, Blogger Vignesh said...

Whoa.. two book recommendations in one blogpost comment list !! Ive already been suggested Pratchett once... will try it out for sure this time... am sure it will appeal to my humor+sci-fi+fantasy preferences ;)

At April 08, 2005 6:37 AM, Blogger jax said...

well this spreading the sweetness and light thing made me think....hard... "what the f**k was i doing when i saw this cute IFP last time!!?"

seriously, if we stopped being absorbed in ourselves, and spent some time in giving other people some surreal experiences to write home about, it creates such a beautiful atmosphere around!

kudos to that one man!


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