Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Rush into a rut

In my hurry to make my life more interesting, after certain... ummm... bad things happened, I started getting involved with all sorts of things. Things that I never had the courage to do earlier, things that weren't even a part of me. I surprised myself with how bad I was at things I assumed I would be good at and shocked myself by being good at things I was sure I would suck at.

The initial high having worn off, now I feel stuck in a rut. Once again. A more entertaining, non-lonely, active rut. But a rut all the same. Keeping with my concert theme this week, think about entertainers. How must they feel ? They know they are enteraining us immensely with the music that they expertly perform, with the shows they stage, but what do they feel ? How do you find joy in playing the same tunes again and again and again ? Every day ? Every week ?

When do you stop ? And just enjoy what you have... nothing.

12 Comments:

At March 10, 2005 12:55 AM, Blogger rapunzel said...

and amen!!and amen! and amen!yes enjoy the nothingness.its the calm before the storm and essential so that u'll be nicely recovered after the last storm and raring to face the new one!

 
At March 10, 2005 12:57 AM, Blogger Grafxgurl said...

its becaue they live it each time...it IS who they are..the adrenalin they feel each time they play it to thousands of people..
its awesome knowing how much youre "giving" people.. each time..

*stares*.. i have nothing so how do i enjoy it? *drags self away*

 
At March 10, 2005 1:02 AM, Blogger Vignesh said...

R: Yes, the calm before the storm. I can feel it coming. Already...

Grrl: You are giving way more than you give yourself credit for. And you ask me the same thing I ask you ? How do you enjoy nothing ? We both should ask R !!

 
At March 10, 2005 1:02 AM, Anonymous neha said...

Nothingness sounds bloody fascinating. But it isn't. Everything is boring after a point. The only activity that grabs attention time after time, is the act of nose digging.

Perhaps the essential problem is expectations. Musicians are expected to enjoy and be on a high in every performance. We're supposed to be deliriously happy having got what we _always_ wanted. I want my life full and bulging (yuck word!). And man... nothingness is a big expectation. Na rishey-naatey, na passions? Sigh. Forgive, but I melt happily into the 'want and need' category. :)

 
At March 10, 2005 1:10 AM, Blogger Vignesh said...

N: That was bloody hilarious !! Nose digging indeed.. thanks to the recent pics.. I can soo totally imagine you doing that... its a sight that shall make me smile for the rest of the week !!!

Expected you say... by whom ? By people around us ? Do we have the same expectations of them ? If we dont, will they stop ?

 
At March 10, 2005 1:30 AM, Blogger Grafxgurl said...

* yenna maaan?!!?"


"You are giving way more than you give yourself credit for."

what does dat mean?....
* hunts around in her old lady bag for her english*

 
At March 10, 2005 1:32 AM, Blogger Vignesh said...

Yenna maann.. hehe.. cute..

Whats wrong with the englis there ? I mean that you are giving way more than you are giving yourself credit for giving.. simple straightforward sentence...

 
At March 10, 2005 1:50 AM, Blogger Grafxgurl said...

ok i must have left my brains behind.. i get it now..dont know if thats a bad thing or a good thing..

 
At March 10, 2005 2:33 AM, Anonymous neha said...

:D Nice snap that no? (See, my englipiss degenerating too!)

The funny thing is, most of the expectations (maybe in my case?) are self-referenced. I pile them on myself, and scream murder at others. Expectations exist because relationships do. And relationships are not 'conscious' connections, but exist because we live 'among others'. Even civility is an expectation illiya?

And because we can't help but have relationships, we desperately attempt to derieve some joy out of them. :)

 
At March 10, 2005 3:18 AM, Blogger Angel said...

errr...nothingness...interesting..what to say...what to say....
*ducks*

 
At March 10, 2005 3:58 AM, Blogger Grafxgurl said...

yeah am learning tamil from the best of them.. he he

 
At March 10, 2005 5:47 PM, Blogger Khushee said...

Hmm. You sure do ask a lot of questions! ;)

 

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