Monday, August 04, 2003

I felt the overwhelming need to put this up... One of my friends mailed and said we should go watch Gigli next. Here are some of the reasons why (based on critics' reviews):

"I once got food poisoning from eating bad shrimp. I never believed that I would ever experience nausea like that ever again. I was wrong. Gigli IS the worst movie that has ever been made. I can honestly say that I have seen better acting in porno. And I should know. I've seen a lot of porn."

"I think the movie critics should have earned hazzard pay for enduring this torture. "

"Even if you sneak in from watching another movie....you've spent to much money. "

"Watching this movie was like watching a car crash. In slow motion. While trapped in a wreaked car yourself. With two broken legs. Come to think of it, that would have been a more pleasurable way to kill an evening."

"[...] getting a long, slow hand-job with a large piece of sandpaper is more enjoyable than this visual sinkhole. anyone who buys a ticket for this should be considered a terrorist."

"[...] I'd rather sit on a broken splintery broom stick. "

"STICK A PENCIL IN MY EYE !!!! END MY MISERY!! "

"I would have had more fun singing show tunes with nursing home patients than seeing this pathetic excuse for a movie. "

"Oh my God ... this review can also serve as my suicide letter. After viewing the disgrace to humanity (a.k.a Gigli, a motion picture of sheer buns) I honestly feared for the future. I thought movies were getting better, but when I saw this ... holy Gigli. I went home, and repented because I figured God was punishing me for something terrible [...] "

"AVOID THIS EXPERIENCE AT ALL COSTS "

Enough said. Promises to be a barrel of laughs. I'm going to see Jenny from the block. Anyone coming ?

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